13 Santas

Here is a pic of the 13 santa clauses that they have in iceland. Rather than the friendly santa-gives u a present tradition in england/states or wherever, they have 13 santas that come, 1 on each day of christmas, and steal stuff. Or do bad things. eg. The widow peaker - ie a pervert santa, and the door slammer, and the sausage stealer etc. They also have a wickied-witch type figure who is the mother of the santas and steals children, and an evil cat who eats the children who don't receive clothes for Christmas. Don't ask. Anyways here's a pic.



Coming next.... Didier Drogba relaxes in the arctic sun.

Food

Alright guys, thought I'd write a quick post detailing some of the strange foods that I have eaten since arrivin on wednesday:
Dried (raw) lamb
Sheeps head - incl. eye and tongue. Get in there
Skate - a ray-like fish which they slap in a pile or put it underground so that it rots and then eat it on the 23rd of december every year. Can't say that it tastes great. Tastes like thick strong glue.
Icelandic equivalence to black pudding and haggis
Raw fish

Basically, i'm ridic healthy after all that. Plus i've been havin spoonfulls of cod-liver oil every mornin. Bring on the next football game boys, i'm gonna be awesome.

Icelando Update

Yo monkeys,

Thought you might want me to give you an update of my icelandic 'adventure'. Basically, to start off with, justyn you can stop doing your little "hi my names jim and i work in a button factory" dance. No need mate-y. All gravy up in the dark cold north.

The photo was taken at mid-day today. Like, the sun just decided, rather like me, to stroll out of bed at noon. fair play i reckon.

Anyways ladies, i gotta go so hope your all havin a good time, and no doubt the 24th will be the best day ever for you peeps. Happy b-day fozzo. Have a good one.

Laters

Al.
The pic is an ideal desktop background by the way.

p.s.
Current level of awkwardness: Zero. Not even a trace thus far, but early doors.

p.p.s
hanna says your all gay

Card Thrower

Card Thrower

MFA 2005

The first annual Melee Football Awards took place on Saturday night, with Redbourn’s ‘Chequers’ pub as the surroundings. Current manager Kevin Webb, who along with special guest Daz Carey oversaw the proceedings, presented the awards, which are voted for by fellow professionals. The ceremony took place over a nice meal, conveniently situated within walking distance of the infamous Fudge bar on the St. Albans road. There was little red-carpet treatment offered by the staff, as melee players again had to wait an exceptionally long time for their food to arrive.

The awards were kicked off with the prestigious Most Needed award. This year there was little doubt regarding who should win this and the absent Samba picked up this award.
The next award given out was due to be the School-Boy award. This was dropped from the schedule at the last minute for unknown reasons. A spokesperson for the ceremony said it seemed ‘a little harsh’.
The Work Horse award was next to be awarded, and it was handed out as a joint award to Justyn and Alex, both taking 33% of the vote.
Before Justyn had a chance to sit down, he had to collect another gong, or should I say post-it note. This time winning the unwanted Squanderer of the Year award. I’m sure he won’t keep that on his notice board.
It began to seem like it was going to be a ceremony full of absentees when the Rogue award was handed to Luke. Despite only having played 2 games in the current campaign, his ability to kick shins and argue with the ref meant that he just got the award from the clutches of his cousin Justyn by a single vote.
The Taxi award of the year went to Alex. The award was given for his, shall we say ‘unique’, performance when coming back from injury. Hampered by a severe, life-threatening illness, he took to arguing with the ref, presumably in the hope that he too would become ill. No illness materialised and Alex was sent to the stands for having bad breath.
The next award took a long time being given out. The Pele award, given for outstanding achievement in the area of show-boating genius, was awarded to Samuel who, by this time, had already slipped off down the road. (such an over-used joke, but just couldn’t resist it mate). Upon his return from the land of the yellow-hummer, he was handed the prestigious post-it. That’s definitely one to keep.
There were only two more awards to be handed out at this stage. The Player’s Player and the Manager’s Player. The Player’s Player was given jointly to three players, all receiving a third of the vote. These were Daudi, Nick and Samuel.
Finally, the Manager’s Player was given to Daudi. After an interview with the manager it was for “His ability to play on, even after he looked absolutely dead”.

http://www.goalsfootball.co.uk/Football/TournamentsUpcoming.aspx

Teams: Young and Old

A wee game

Stick man action

Finale

Not only is this the last game of the season, it is also the last Melee game of 2005 and, with no further matches scheduled, it could be the last game for a while. A win is as essential as doing a thorough check round a car before buying it, and as important as remembering to bend your knees when jumping off a balcony.
It will almost certainly be the last game for Andre aka Samba aka superman, as he heads back to his native land before travelling to India for 6 months next year.
Ideally, in an emotional occasion like this, you would want all the melee boys to be there. That can't be the case this time round unfortunately. With pedre busy proposing (and making me a rich man in the process), tom 'studying' at uni, luke spendin time with the pharoah, thats 3 down already. Add to that kevo on one leg, nick getting Sars/malaria and justyn having a graze on his knee, thats 6 down. Hopefully nick'll make it back for the game, or it might be a new recruit for the game in the form of Andrew Ciechan. (thats how you spell his surname by the way justyn).
Kick off this week is at 7pm, so whoever is driving will be doing the rounds about 6. The opposition is 'The Otter', who we beat last time round in what was probably the game of the season.

Melee(from): Andre, Daudi, Nick, Alex, Samuel, Kev

5/10

An old man was sitting on a bench in the shopping centre.
A teenager sat down next to him. He had spiked hair that
was red, orange, yellow, green, blue & violet.
The old man stared. Whenever the teenager looked
across, the old man was staring.
Finally, the teenager said sarcastically: "What's the
matter old boy, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without missing a beat the old man replied: "Got drunk
once and had sex with a peacock. Just wondering if you were my son!"

Iceland: "you'll never know unless you go"

why go?

beautiful natural scenery, an undiscovered masterpiece of divine creation,
Eidur Gudjohnsen and ear-muffs.

iceland home to a consistantly average eurovision song contest performance, some ice, and a chick you might fancy.....

Can Melee Continue???

just thought i'd give you a couple of options for continuing Melee mid-week footy. check em out and give it your verdict.

1. football-mundial have leagues in dunstable and watford but website doesn't give details of prices or anything but it looks pretty pro. http://www.football-mundial.com/index.asp

2. Pitch-invasion is back in welwyn at gosling, so not far away. games have been extended to 36mins and its £30 a game
http://www.pitch-invasion.com/locations/locations.php?id_page_content=16#

3. Leisure leagues have ones in watford, st.albans and luton, game is only 26mins long but its only max £20. could be worth a look, they have hundreds of leagues going.
ttp://www.leisureleagues.net/search_index.htm

Kev

Firestarter dock-again

Jonnys

the first half saw some of the nicest most conving football melle has put together, samba nick and dave solid at the back, free runing flowing movement form alexy and sam was far too much for this shit team ane we well ahead, justyn came on for a bit - added an unnecessary edge to the game as we were doing well with the easy laid back style.

Still the boys pulled together well, Dace coops came off (man of the match) and we began to tire slughtly, had a 20 min lull but nothing to worry about. A concing win 17 11 maybe i dunno. Dave scored 6 which puts him top scorer of the game and chasing the golden boot award.

Jonny banter:

Magic in the air this weekend as the janes step into the thick of things:

Jonny coz has his 4 month anniversery with egyptian jane - whos flying out to ireland to see him. Mast as ive always said 'if you can 4 months you can go 57 years'

Alls Jane is coming down from manchester to watch the jonnys play football - she also might be going to brighton but im sure its mainly for the footy. in which we will see Sameuel make his debut. Shit me is the mid hearts league in for a treat.

Love to you all Jonnys

Jonny

Had to post...

Had to post this preview purely so that naked fat bird moves further down the blog.

So frustrating when i forget that she's there and I scroll down and i see her. Kevo your wrong.

-----------------------------------------
Jugar Futebol.

Alright lads. Its the latest kick off ever this week. KO is at 9.50pm. I know its ridic. We'll be doing the rounds at 9. Nick has gone galivanting off to see his boyfriend in Preston and may or may not be back for the game. He loves to leave us guessing. Justyn has broken a toe nail or something and may remain out, apparently he has a manicure on thursday evenings at the moment so it depends whether he can squeeze a game in around that. Despite a great performance in goal last week, with samba-the-man back kevo drops to the bench. Moranginho is set to make his debut for Kings this weekend and will start on Thursday (no real surprise there)

Melee (from): Andre, Daudi, Alex, Samuel, Justyn, Nick
-----------------------------------------

Match Report is Here!!

As the season turned festive Melee took to the rubber crumb on a horrible wet december night. With spirits low, a lack of warm-up and certain team members thinking about the Xbox 360 a slow start was on the cards. Melee went two down early doors with a couple of long range efforts that swerved viscously! Quickly Melee realised they needed to up their game and soon started place their influence on the opposition. A quick fire scoring spree saw all four outfield players score, the highlight coming as Daudi hammered in a long shot, to see Sam 'the special one' uel cheekily flick the ball through his legs to beat the stationery keeper.

This left the score 5-3 with Melee in the accendence. The rest of the first half saw some slick pass and move footy, although the opposition did their best to help make Melee look good. The Coup bro's worked hard both scoring a couple of excellent goals, while Samuca was his normal majestic self. Defensively Melee were in control with the ex-jonny panda commanding his back line, however some good play from one Chorleywood player left him scoring all the goals, mostly from long shots. Some neat finishing left Melee 12-6 up at half-time.

Melee kept to their normal tradition by starting the second half slower than an overweight tortoise. Chorleywood took advantage of the slack start and placed the ball past the keeper three times before Melee replied. Of course it was the wee 'magic man' who got involved with a nice passing move to finish the ball home. Second half finishing was poor compared to the first with al, sam and dave (pen) all missing from 3 yards. However the game never looked in doubt and Melee crusied to a 17-12 victory, collecting another 3 points to keep the very slim chance of promotion alive.

Highlights - Jonny Fudge nut megging one guy, strolling past another and finishing with a class far to good for the Chorley players

Lowlights - Team second half performance was lack luster as opposition should have been dominated. (as jonny said after the game - "they only had one guy, we should have man marked" - you could say wise words, you could say foolish, we will never know!!)

Player Ratings -

Samuel - 8 (MOM) - Brilliant again, superb tricks, great goals, bullied opposition defence

Alex - 8 - Worked tirelessly all game, scored some good goals and got back to make some crucial challenges.

Dave - 8 - Comfortable performance, part of some class passing moves, scored a cracker but missed a pen

Nick - 8 - Commanding performace at the back, never did anything wrong, had the striker in his pocket the whole game. Most goals were conceded from long range or keeper error.

Kev - 7 - Some good saves, some bad. some good distribution, some bad, but all in all not a bad return for a man who still cant walk properly

yours sincerley

the match report man

Match report comin soon

Kevo's gonna do the match report on saturday...

differences

Jonnys we are all one in the same
-none of us gay, we'd all take a jane
but there are some things between you and I
differences that are not easy to spy

some are relaxed, and some are laid back
while others are hyper, and coolness they lack
some are just fickle and talk all the time
while others are quiet, but have skill thats sublime

some won't stop shouting, and some like to moan
some can't yet run, some don't answer the phone
some get called home early, by mum or the wife
despite all these differences, what a great life!

Pics for your pleasure

An Ode To Melee

Dear Melee

Melee is the greatest feeling,
In Melee we just love to play,
Melee is makes me feel alive,
Each and every day,
Melee is like a simple smile,
Melee is like a awesome song,
Melee is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you Melee with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when we are all old,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start

Profits

The adverts above this post, courtesy of google, have so far raked in profits of $2.30 It works out at an average of 7c per day since they were first put up. So hopefully they'll be paying for a july trip to a restaurant or something (I wish).

retort

Daudi is a married man
'Bench Warming' is his place
If I say one more word to the ref
He says he'll cut my face

Another Verse

swagger is alex's style,
though his mouth turns the ref sour!
he is known fo his strong opinions,
that will change in half an hour!!

Little Poem (Add verses)

Nick used to look like prince will
Until he broke his nose
Now he resembles stevie bruce
Til he to a nose-job, goes

Kev used to be the man with tricks
Until he bust his knee
Now all he does is watch chick-flicks
And listen to r. Kelly

Dave and Just’ enjoy a fight
Especially with each other
The only times that they don’t fight
Is when Dave fights his brother

Where would we be without Samuel?
I wouldn’t like to judge
I am however worried about
His frequenting of Fudge

Luke Carey is a jonny
who lives over sea
he comes over-we don't see him
he goes to see becky

heres to hope

i look at the yellow i look at the sky
i look at all that all is good in the world
and i hope that you do not die

i long for our life again i long for you to remain
i loved the way u turned and spead
and i would hate to take the train

actually my piece of shit car isnt worth all this bloody poetry

An Ode to a Pineapple

*DISCLAIMER: This poem is simply about a pineapple that someone once bought. Any resemblance that it may have with Justyn's car are purely coincidental

An Ode to a Pineapple

Pineapple, my friend.
How wonderful you look,
You came to me with a promise of ripeness,
And I cradled you to my chest

Why is it, then, that you turn on me?
What did I do to deserve the bitter taste you have produced?
You have done nothing but cause me trouble.
From hell I received you, and to hell I shall let you go.

Your leaves, once shone in the sun,
Now prickle me and cut me like thorns.
How many segments inside of you are wrong?
Who can count the grains of sugar required to create a good taste?

Without you, I can do nothing.
I am stationary, helpless in this world of movement.
With you, I am nothing.
And I remain static.

Pineapple, my enemy.
How terrible, how merciless you are.
After all I did for you, the price I paid,
And you can do nothing but fail me.

There Back!

http://www.break.com/articles/loveme.html

Match Report

On Cold December Evening, Melee took to the field against top of the league PCH struggling for numbers, as looking at lights getting turned on and working at perfect pizza took preference. However this presented an opportunity for Joel Pusey to make his debut.

Player Ratings:

Alex Couper..... 6 -Worked hard throughout the game, making good runs got rewarded with a well taken goal. However fitness was lacking due to recent illness therefore failed to track back on occasion.

Dave Couper..... 6 -Good first half then lost his head at the start of the second half which resulted in giving away a penalty. Came back strong probably scored can't remember, but then spent the rest of the game trying to think of a come back to their little fat guy upfront.

Nick Foster..... 6 -The Sublime and the ridiculous. Quiet First half, which ended prematurely with an ankle injury, through which forced him to go in goal. The 2nd half saw him produced some magnificent saves, having an unprecedented amount of one-on-ones to deal with, mixed in with deflecting 2 shots going wide into his goal, and letting shots run over his feet. Verdict go back to clown school. Conceded 5 in the 2nd half.

Samuel Samoca... 8 -Spent the first half in goal, questionable tactics from the manager but he was off delivering pizza's so couldn't comment. Made some good saves, was only beaten through superb strikes and lack of cover. 2nd Half saw the teenage sensation come out, (not out of the closet, out of goal), so did all the tricks. The little Brazilian scored 3 class goals, could have been more but the gay chip kept coming out and PCH refused to let him play trying to kick lumps out of him instead. Conceded 5 scored 3.

Joel Pusey..... 7 -A solid debut from the managers son. Worked hard all game, grabbing 3 goals.


Half time score 5-3
Fulltime Score 10-8.
Final verdict: If we had a full team out we could have got something out of this game. But the fact remains we need to work on our fitness and Dave's temperament.

Resignation

This was a true letter of resignation sent.

Mr Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow.

One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f-- k with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely,
Ted Brewer

Drugs

Another little game. I managed to make 4million. Have a go...

Drugs work

How To Pass A Drunk Driving Test

Quite funny this!

Driving test

Manc trip for obrigadinho and swag

2 min time waster

Got too much time on your hands? This will use up about 1 min 45 seconds.Fry

Relationship Wisdom

How to tell its over...

Match Preview

Melee,

Alright boys. Another big, big game on thursday. Melee v PCH. Kick off 8pm. No super-samba this week tho, he's on trial at Real Madrid apparently. Casillas is stalling over a new contract, so he's probably gonna get snapped up, with melee getting no compensation what-so-ever. Shocking news.

If we win on thursday, we should go 3rd and have a decent shot at 2nd in the weeks after. Justyn has ruled himself out with an ankle injury, so its 5 again (hopefully) as long as Joel agrees to play.

Melee (from): Joel, Daudi, Nick, Alex, Samuca

qual e o seu passatempo preferido?

Laters
Al.

Sheep Reflexes

have a go at this reflex tester.

Sheep sheep sheep sheep

A Moscada

jonnys

A wondeful crisp evening, the winter chills surrounding the ground and yet the mellee boys produced a firery performance.

the best way to describe our performance is 'stable with a pinch of class' jonnys nick dave and myself kept it solid at the back leaving sam to chase and infultrate bits of class. They went up with the opening goal but from that point onwards were always lookign back as melee took the lead which they held for the rest of the game. Us defensive boys all got 2 a piece (class lads) whilst sam just got the one and al managed a quality smauel speciality cheeky chip.

Of course a salways samba produced a dazzling display in the nets, he is worth 3/4 goals a game-sheer brilliance.

Match incident: myself and dave has been relativly calm this game, no major flare ups-wed all been working hard to maintain a 4 goal lead. Al comes on for nick: Huge swagger, i mean al comes on with a grin and stride ud think he just got quick 1 - 2 with some lady round the back of the pitch (this is all said in friendly banter). Needless to say the swagger continues and within minutes jonny wont move away form the ball afer conceding a free kick, ignoring the calls of his brother jonny got sinbinned and momentarily melle looked in toruble. Luckily their 2 goal get back wasnt enough, as soon as al got back on the pitch and after a slight bit of negative banterall is jonnys once agian.

8-6 victory against one of the top temas in the legauer leaves us joint 3rd with that very team.

To end i thought id leave us with some poetry as it best describes where were at, i found half of it on the net then did the other half:

the fun is in the playing which lasts far longer than the result and score-sheet at the end of a game, where the commaradery is often unspoken but felt strongly, the teamplay sometimes poetry in motion. The joy that gloom can bring either in defeat or victory goes way beyond a simple 'I win you lose'. In the end it doesn't matter what the result is, that's the icing on the cake, not a reflection on how well or how badly any individual has played. Win Lose or Tie-Mellee jonnys will remain, in time of broken legs or wounded souls are victories go beyond the pitch, they last longer then a moment and transcend the extasy of a win. boys stand firm, and lose we will not although we will at times encounter loss. What is true to note is our commaredery is more then a feeling after a win, but a truth that is found amongst a band of men. Together we go forth!

jonny

This blokes got guts

Driving Fine

jokey

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Ridic Hilar Video

Need to have sound on to appreciate it at all. They look like cartoons. To be fair to them the coreography isn't bad given the space. My rating 3.5/5

Students

Lasts for 3mins 35secs. Watch if you've got the time.

No game thurs

Boys,

The good news is that i've saved us £25. The bad news is that I may have cost us 2pts. Apparently if we don't turn up for friendlies that they arrange as a result of a team pullin out, we don't get our 10-0 win. Basically, its their way of making money out of a non-fixture. In fact its ridiculous. Lets say there are 2 fixtures that have one team missing from each. Each of the missing teams have to pay the total price of their respective fixtures, and then the other two teams get paired against each other, and have to pay £25 each.
Anyways, the woman was claimin that we either get a draw or (effectively) have to pay £25 for the win. I was like, well, everyones already made plans, so I can turn up by myself, get the 3 pts and you'll have the whole other team moanin at you for them payin £25 for shootin practice.
She tried to offer me a 'worse' deal of postponing the match, and waiting for a new team to come in to take the place and then playing it, so I was like "yeah OK then, do that." When it comes down to it, I can't really justify in my own mind paying money for a win. The other team that we were scheduled to play haven't turned up. Fact. The outcome of that game shouldn't be dependent upon whether we pay to play a friendly or not. Corruption dot com.

Anyways boys, no football thursday. See you all later in the week. Sam, u might wanna do some level of translation for andre cos its long winded!.

Laters
Al.

Matrix in Ascii

Someone has had far too much time on their hands, other than me.
Its a scene from the matrix entirely done using letters to create the 3d images. pretty impressive.

matrix

Laters.

Rubbish Game

Check out this link

Muslim Soccer

Basically, some guy has published 'godly' rules for muslim football. What an awful game. Play for three halves of 40 mins, with any number of players except 11. No corners, penalties, throw-ins. No cross-bar. Not sure how that works. No referee. If someone is fouled, people have to 'bear-witness'. Play in pyjamas!! If someone celebrates, they have to be spat in the face!! Slightly harsh. No post-match banter.

Probably the worst game ever made. Don't think its gonna catch on. Also, it faces the slight problem that it is based entirely on 'be as close to football as possible, without looking like football in the west', so if it catches on, they'd have to change it again!!

PaperClip

It has become synominous with an attachment on an e-mail, but the paperclip is much more than that. Both Kev and Lucas reached their paperclip anniversaries this week with their janes. Luke went for a pink and black interlocking necklace, whilst details of kevs are undisclosed. nick must be loving his £50 placed on the kev meister who seems to love a bit of commitment.

Jonny Delays...

A loss for the lads which was so close to being a win.

The might of melee shone early on as they took a 3 goal lead, i cant remeber but im sure they were all scored by sam-and the reason they had no goals at this point was due, again, to the best 5 a side goalie in the league. Samba and sam: we hail you.

Now it was a s always a team effort and we deserved our 1st half lead, but as the 2nd half wor on they leveled at about 7 a piece and it was tough going, they got a bit of luck with a deflected goal and somehow we couldnt captalises, sammy kept us in the game with more goals but we tired in the midst and they used theur subs carefully. Bastauds-we should had these boys they were top of the league and 2 top wins in a row would ahve really put melle on the map.

Final scor: 11-9

Post match banter, Destorted somehow as i seemed to forget what was planned and drove two jonnys home rather then back to the pool of naked love. Sorry boys.

Dave and myself both picked up knocks this morning so we might be scraping for a squad on thurs but hopefully all will be good with tom arriving back on the scene.

jonny

story?

lads what happened last night?

Thursday Preview

Every week, the games just keep getting bigger. This week promises a double helping of crucial games with first placed Unreliable FC travelling to 5th placed Melee, and 2nd placed PCH playing against 3rd placed 'The Otter'.
Unreliable FC are not living up to their name. Having played 7 won 6 and scored a fair few, they're turning out to be one of the more reliable teams in the league. The one game they did lose, however, was against 'The Otter', the team that were on the losing side against Melee last week. This game promises some huge performances from both sets of players, and certainly not one to miss.

With a nine point gap between Melee and the next placed team, the title race is beginning to get narrowed down, and now contains only 5 from the original 8. A win for Melee will put them 3 points off top. With a guaranteed 3 points coming the following week, and unreliable FC playing against the only team that has beaten them so far, potentially Melee could be sitting top of the league by Friday week.

Squad News:
Foster began breathing through his nose this week, after being out with a broken face, and looks set to deputise for the absent David Couper. Couper apparently would rather play the triangle than be part of one of the most exciting seasons in living memory.
Melee (from): Andre, Foster, Justyn, Alex, Samuca

Kick off is at 8pm

Football Manager 2006

Baz Lurman's - Everybody is free to play Footy Manager 2006

I think i have the new champ working, if anybody wants a copy let me know

jonny team coach

the help

jonny and jonny dickie-bow

amazing horn skills

alright jonnys,check out this video!Pretty good skills by the frenchman

french horn

Samuca

Harolds Food Frenzy

Harold's Food Frenzy

bit of neighbours fun!

great result last night lads, big game next week!

Match Report

class class class

I am under the rue conviction that our time represented the perfect balance between brute strength and finesse. Walking on to he pitch facing these high flying league contenders was a daunting experience, especially as they had already been part of match brawl. But none the less the 5 fit jonnys took the pitch and things looked like they were gonna be tight. Sure finishing from samuel and a cheeky nut meg form my self took us into half time with a narrow edge and probably the lowest scoring hald we had been part of. Not least of this due to another magnificent performance form smaba! could the man be any better.

After an inspired tacktical speah from kev the secod hald followed suit, tight aggresive denfending from daudi at rock; high energy from the jonnys (me and al) in the middle and clear finishing form samuel, even if one of his well placed finishes ended up in the back of the net, and more class saves form smaba. A shrewd goal from dave and hat-trick for myself lead us eventually into a comfortable victory ending 9-6. A well fought match and i know i always overate personal perfomrmanecs but i thought we were nothing off exsquisite.

Post match banter followed suit, great to say the injured boys supporting as always, nick still looking like a panda and kevs walking like the handicapped guy of the usual suspects. We found ourselves knocking back lime soda (80p a pitcher) and other varieties of soft drinks in a near by pub-the glee of winning still going strong. Been in the car with sam on the way back he explained to me how after his own goal he believed he could rectify by scoring more goals and refused to let his head droop. It was tear jerking stuff lads, it really was.

Heres to a great season and whats turnig out to be a greta amoutn of jonny banter

the title is there for the taking

yours sincerely

Jonny relaxed

Quintosole

If your a little bored, here's a free 50-minute film
Quintosole
"The documentary Quintosole has been realized in the prison of Milan-Opera. It tells the story of a team of prison inmates (Freeopera) which entered the regular 2003/2004 italian soccer championship in the third category and succeeded in winning and getting through the heat.
In Quintosole, soccer is a pretext to talk about prison conditions from a new and original viewpoint. The training scenes and the matches are accompanied by the words of the protagonists, revealing their intimate thoughts and hopes.
Confronting themselves with a popular sport like soccer and with external teams, the inmates seem more real and sincere when talking about their problems and their lives in such a place as a prison."

More Football Skills

Check out some of these keepy-uppies/dribbling skills. Its like the ball is attached to their feet with string or something.

Skills

Taribo Definition

Taribo
1. Noun. A vehicle; A car or bus used for the collective good of a group of people
2. Verb. To drive somewhere. See Tariboing it.
3. No-Go Taribo(colloq.) When someone cannot drive, either due to not having a licence or because their car is broken.
4. Noun. A female. Usually only used when referring to someone close to the speaker, emotionally. It can also be used when talking about any female eg.Check out the taribo

Footy Thursday

Melee boys,

Another week, another crucial, season-deciding game at powerleague.
Last weeks pivotal game, saw melee rise above the relegation dog-fight
and have some aspirations of the title. In order for those aspirations
to have any chance of coming to fruition, a win against third place
'The Otter' is vital.
With Foster suffering from a broken face, and Webb still out, melee
are left with 5 players once more to fight their corner. A win against
'The Otter', and Melee should move up a place to 4th, with a great
shot at the title going into the second half of the season.
The injury sustained by Foster on Saturday has come as great news to
Singlehurst who, despite playing well away from Melee, was facing the
axe after a wonderful team performance last week in his absence.

Kick Off: 9pm
Melee'd Jonnys: Samba, Married, Grateful, Jonny jonny, Obrigadinho

Note Change in terminology: Grateful Jonny has kindly nominated
himself to taribo us to footy on thursday. He will be 'taribo-ing it'.
If the two not-so-able jonnys want to come as well, either daudi, nick
or me will also taribo.

Jane is now the lady formely known as taribo.

Attention

Taribo has been banned from the new oxford melee dictionary to be replaced by Jane!
This is due largely to the huge negative feedback received from all members, and the lack of traceable origins from whence it came. From this day forward anyone who utters the word will have an automatic shotgun ban for two weeks, enforceable by wedgies and one-nil’s.

a joke

One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road.

After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."

One for JonnyGreen

These three English guys are out drinking one night and decide that they want to have a fight. They stagger from pub to pub looking for a likely victim to pick on when they come across a single Irishman in this one bar.

"Watch this." Says the first Englishman, heading over toward the guy, "I hear that St Patrick was a shirt lifter."

"Really." Says the Irishman, calmly continuing to drink.

With that the second English guy decides to join in, "Yeah, and I hear he was a pervert too."

"Is that so?" the still calm Irishman responds.

"I know how to rile this tosser." Says the third Englishman, staggering toward the Irishman, "Hey, did you know St Patrick was really an Englishman?"

The Irish guy casually looks up and says, "Yeah, so your mates were telling me."

Taribo Troubles...

It has been a few weeks now since anyone brought their taribo along to footy on a thursday night. In fact, if i'm not mistaken, it has only been kev and tom who ever brought taribos along. With married jonny's taribo being pregnant and uni jonny being away, it looks like other members will have to bring a taribo along...

Matchus Reportus

Jonnys,

It was billed as the biggest game Melee has faced since its rebirth in
the summer of 2005. And probably in the top 3 games in Melee history.
Post war. If we won, we would be left with a real opportunity to push
for promotion. A loss would leave us struggling at the foot of the
table.
When approaching a game like that, its always handy to give the
opposition a helping hand. So not only did we decide to be sporting,
and field only 4 players to start (as one of theirs was late), but we
also decided to let them score first. 1-0 Feet of Fury. We equalised,
and then they scored again. 2-1. It felt like it was going to be one
of those nights.
However, despite what it felt, there was an aroma in the air. A scent
that can only be recognised by those who have fought with someone for
something. It had travelled with us in our car, with all 5 of us
crammed in to a little skoda, and had made its way onto the pitch. I'm
sure it was there when Liverpool came back against Milan last season.
"Ah...", I thought, whilst thinking of a Nirvana song, "...It smells
like team spirit".
And with that smell, came a performance riddled with movement, laced
with encouragement, and toped with a few sprinklings of obrigadinho
magic.
We didn't look back. Daudi scored a goal which would be the equivalent
of a 75 yarder on a real pitch. We kept plugging away, and some lovely
passing moves saw us 11-6 up at half time.
Second half saw more of the same, and i never thought I would ever say
this, but some of jonny 'Make it Large' Crouch's movement was class,
and saw him grab a few.
As usual, Samba jonny in goal's importance to the result cannot be
over-estimated. The occasional leak, in what was quite a tight ship,
would be quickly mopped up by the small brazilian wonder. So good was
his performance, and at 16-9 up, he was set free from the captivity of
the semi-circle, and was allowed to roam.
Clearly, this meant that he was no longer in goal. I was put in. The
score soon became 16-13. Andre managed to score a nice goal, and at
last the final whistle went at 19-14.
Get in the boys.

Best Moment: Final whistle baby!!

Worst Moment: When they scored 5 in a row after we changed keepers

Most Taxiest Moment: Jonny no-knee being out with a skirt instead of
watching the boys. Hope the picnic was worth it.

Funniest Moment: Pre-match, when I thought the ref was gonna start the
game with 1 against 5.

Ugliest Moment:Wasn't really a moment, but the fact that samuel got
hacked, and pushed around an unbelieveable amount was the ugly side of
the game.

The jonny split

Jonnys,

Me, Samuel and Nikky F have all been sent 'on loan' to the East Herts Kings Reserves side. In Hertford. Sitting comfortably third from bottom, its gonna be a struggle. I feel a little like Kieran Richardson last season. Not quite good enough for Kings, but presumably gonna walk in at what is a third team.
The massive advantage of the move, is that me nick and samuel can probably dictate where we play. Bagsies on Centre-mid with foster!! Kwallo.

Here's the link to their league table:
http://football.mitoo.co.uk/LeagueTab.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=3986&LeagueCode=HDFL2005

Later boys

Latest from Toyota Zimbabwe

Big game thurs

Melee,

This week we're up against 'Feet of Fury', who sit just below us in
the table. We find ourselves in a bit of an extreme situation. A win
this week, and we'd be right back in the hunt for promotion. A loss,
and we could have a relegation fight on our hands.
However, with 3 players away on 'international duty' of sorts (Pete,
Luke and Justyn), Tom 'foundation-year' Hill studying hard up in
loughborough, and Kevo struggling to get up in the morning, the
depleted squad is down to its naked bones.

Kick off is at 8pm on Thursday.

Melee (from): Andre, Daudi, Nikky F, Samuel, Alex.

Mourinho Magic

Some guy has done a couple of parody songs about Mourinho, both of these are well funny.

Song 1 - Sign a Little Player or Two
Song 2 - Jose's Technicoloured Dream Coat

I like the second one best, the abuse of drogba is ace (in a good way!)

Jonny busted anterior cruciate ligament

a joke

what did the dyslexic pimp do?

bought a warehouse

Ridic video

This guy has got some stupidly good skills.
Check it out
Ridic Skills

---

Let me be leverkusen all over again

Football Manager 2006 has arrived, in Gold Demo form at least. Theres 300-odd MB of stuff there to download. Jonny no-knee will be clickin on this link faster than you can say "alex is the best manager to have ever graced the game of champ".
I'm downloading mine on broadband now and its claimin it'll be done in 25 mins.

Champ Man

Equal Wages?

Alright,

This probably isn't the place for this discussion, but thought i'd raise it anyways. Women want to get paid the same as their male counterparts for the same job. Fair play, you might say. Why shouldn't they? Its only a chromosone difference after all.
I would like, to rather contraversially, say that I don't think that they should both get the same wage at all. Picture this. Susan and Gary both work as senior managers for some company. They both earn 30k and are both happily married. From the company's point of view, that can't be right. When Gary was first appointed, he came with a guarantee. He is guaranteeing that he will work 365 days a year, except ill days and holidays. When Susan gets employed, she is guaranteeing that she will work when not ill, on holiday or on maternity leave. Thats a huge extra. In a worst case scenario she could be not working for an additional 6 months every year compared to Gary.
Obviously that is a worst case. In an average case, where she has 2 children during her 15 year spell at the company, thats one full year not working (based on 6 month maternity leave per child). That means, that she should get paid 1 years salary less over the course of the 15 years. Thats 30k/15 which is 2k. Gary should earn 30k, she should earn at most 28k.
What are your thoughts?

a somber night

There are monets in life which cause happiness, smiles and celebration-times for praise and an overjoyed sense of well being and fulfilment, there are in turn times of the opposite, and are performance tonight was one of these. About half way through to the second half i thought to my self 'what the hell i am gonna write in the jonnys match report'

well i will try and gve a very brief overview of the game: Started mediocre, tempers got out of hand, rapidly performance decliend and we then lost by over 10 goals. Enough said!
The post mach banter was comeple ranter, rants mainly form myself and Dave which lead into a long deiscussion between us and lukus in the car on the journey home. In conclusion the three of us decided that an apology is most appropriate, so sorry jonnys for acting like a bunch of jonnys and hopefully we will on move on to bigger and better ways.

Anyways been back in the squad for Saterday a few of us can look foward to an away game that couldnt be closer to mine and jonny jonnys house-For the rest of the team its jobs abroard, ladies, uni and for one lucky camper a prolonged Bible study session. Again our dearest comiserations go out to jonny no knee, but dont worry mate as always us at melle are looking out for you and have looked up some websites which i trust you will enjoy when you find yourself with a bit of spare time check out:
www.countrysiderecreation.org.uk, and a personal favourate www.picnicshop.co.uk or you could try www.nakedwomenintopicnics andfootball.com
One out of the three websites was made up.

Jonnys around on saterday night-after football then watching international football im keen for another poker night, jonny coz will still be around so let me know if you boys are up for it. There is also rumour of a bit of a come back for oval football on sunday, keep it in mind.
night lads

Jonny

Jonny Abroad's Newsletter

Hello

I have been on my course for about two weeks now. It is really enjoyable but the pace that we have to work at is quickly increasing. The first week we went through the book of Philemon, all 25 verses, and they showed us the systematic method that we are going to be using for the next 9 months. We then went on to Titus (46 verses) and we had about 4 days to finish that, which wasn’t too bad.

I’m doing Ephesians at the moment; the method isn’t quite set into me yet. We have to make a chart for each book giving the basic outline and key points of each division and section and then make another set of charts (one chart per approx 30 verses) giving the basic outline and key points of each sector and paragraph. Apparently we are meant to get these secondary charts down to about 45 minutes per chart. It’s taking me a lot longer at the moment (Ephesians is 6 charts). They are slowly getting done - hopefully I’ll speed up a bit.

There has been a bit of time for other activities such as a trip to Glacier National Park (an amazing place) and generally getting to know people. I think this time will diminish pretty quickly though.

I helped out at a garage sale today, not quite the English garage sale though. There were two huge warehouses filled with people’s donated goods. It was quite impressive how quickly it disappeared. I was in the furniture and large goods area, helping people get their purchases into their trucks. I was there for about 6 hours, in which time my section went from crammed full, to where you could move, to a barren wasteland (almost). Well it was pretty fun talking to random people and I think we raised quite a lot of money for New Orleans relief. There was also a big blood drive for the same cause, but I am banned from giving blood due to mad cow disease!

Prayer Requests: that I have enough discipline not to procrastinate (usually a hobby of mine), that I find some things in common with my Korean room mate (Sun Bok Bae) because we haven’t found much to talk about yet, that I keep healthy (so far so good).

In Christ

Jonny Abroad

Adding stuff to the blog

Alright jonnys,

To add stuff to the blog. Go to www.blogger.com and log in with the details that were sent out in the e-mail.
Click on 'melee' - that is the name of the blog page.
Here you are shown a list of the topics added. Click on 'Add new' or 'create new' or whatever.

Your then shown a e-mail like page where you type. Click 'Publish Post' to finish

No rockets.

Alex.

Life's a ......

The news that countrylife will not be in action for a few months has brought me to thinkin how fickle the beautiful game can be...one minute you are skinning defenders and top scorer for melee - the next you are lying on the couch but still top scorer for melee.
The question to ask was would you not play football for a season if you knew that one game you would get nailed???

Melee Updates

Alright guys,

Thought it'd be quite class to have a melee blog. Actually, i think the use of the word 'class' is questionable. It'd be useful tho.
Anyways, i think it'll work. Just slap on any stuff u've got to say or whatever.

Nice one.