After securing promotion last year Melee took to the field in the first ever Premiership game in the London Westminster league. With no prior experience at this level no-one knew how Melee would fair against top rate opposition called “Did Jamie Redknapp Smash It” – an ode to the infamous Richard Keys quote.
The game started tightly with chances at either end. Fabio making quite a few brilliant saves that seemed to all hit off the outside off the post. However it wasn’t all one way traffic and an early Kev shot hit the inside of the post. After some tense play and the possesion going back and forth the deadlock was finally broken by a long range effort from Kev and as soon as that happened the flood gates seemed to open in Melee’s favour. High pressing from the midfield of Chris and Mark (making his return to Melee after 3months out with that all to familiar ‘too much football now I’m in nearly 30 injury) meant that the opposition started to give the ball away for the first time. Melee capitalised on that and 4 more goals followed before half time, Kev picking up 3 and Chris Pils with a cultured finish. Half time 5-0. Roll on the premier league!
Organisation through out was key and Nick and Fabio shouted orders from the back which set out a solid formation and made it very hard for Melee to be broken down – leaving Jamie Redknapps to have only pop shots from range that Fabio eats up for breakfast. Some of the passing in the second half was sublime, interchange between Mark and Pils was great and some lovely one touch goals saw the total quickly rack up to 10-0, with Pils picking up a few more, Mark with a classy curler into the far corner and Kev tapping one in after the keeper fell over in a comical moment.
With no subs the pace started to slow as legs got tired and the away team got a couple back after what was some lovely skill in fairness. The game ended up 11-2 with all players on cloud 9 after their debut prem performance. With Melee’s rating at ‘dangerous’ the scouting sharks are floating round the team, with ‘big money offers’ on the cards from other teams and coaches ‘wanting to take on a winning side’ there could be a view that some of the team might be tempted to move on. But with a strong squad a team morale at an all time high surely even Man City can’t afford to bring in any of this Melee team (even Foz on his huge basic salary)
With Foz and Kev out next week there is a huge game pending against the team that won the Premiership the last 3 seasons and have not lost in 19 games. Can Melee continue their own 14 game wining streak? Some stats on the teams are below: looks like a massive one!
MELEE STATS
RECENT GAMES
Average Goals scored in last 3 games: 11.33 (way above average)
Average Goals conceded in last 3 games: 2.33 (around the same as average)
Overall recent form: 9 / 10
RECENT RESULTS
2011-09-28 won 11-2 vs Did Jamie Rednapp Smash It
2011-09-21 won 11-3 vs Inter Tavolato
2011-09-14 won 12-2 vs On Her Majesty's Cervix
LEAGUE TITLES
Season ending 2011-08-03 LDN Westminster Division 1
Season ending 2011-09-21 LDN Westminster Championship
THIS SEASON'S STATS
Total won: 1
Total drawn: 0
Total lost: 0
Total points: 3
Total goals for: 11
Total goals against: 2
Goal difference: 9
STREAKS
Longest winning streak 14 wins from 29-06-2011 to 28-09-2011
Longest losing streak 3 losses from 11-05-2011 to 25-05-2011
GOALS
Goals scored ever: 135
Average goals per game: 6.14
Goals conceded ever: 59
Overall goal difference: 76
Greatest thrashing ever given: vs On Her Majesty's Cervix 14-09-2011 (won 12-2)
Greatest thrashing ever taken: vs Steaua Needarest 11-05-2011 (lost 11-3)
Most goals in single game: vs On Her Majesty's Cervix 14-09-2011 (won 12-2)
NEXT WEEKS GAME
“Battle of the big hitters! Both Melee and Buckies Up are looking unstoppable this season, and both these teams have been scoring goal after blistering goal in the past few weeks. Buckies Up, we reckon, are the underdogs and Melee could win this game, but could our prediction be accurate? Lets wait and see!”
BUCKIES UP (19 games undefeated)
RECENT GAMES
Average Goals scored in last 3 games: 6.33 (way above average)
Average Goals conceded in last 3 games: 2.67 (way below average)
Overall recent form: 10 / 10
RECENT RESULTS
2011-09-28 won 8-3 vs QP Aunt FC
2011-09-21 drew 3-3 vs QP Aunt FC
2011-09-14 won 8-2 vs Acapulco Tropical
LEAGUE TITLES
Season ending 2011-04-27 LDN Westminster Championship
Season ending 2011-06-15 LDN Westminster Premiership
Season ending 2011-08-03 LDN Westminster Premiership
Season ending 2011-09-21 LDN Westminster Premiership
THIS SEASON'S STATS
Total won: 1
Total drawn: 0
Total lost: 0
Total points: 3
Total goals for: 8
Total goals against: 3
Goal difference: 5
STREAKS
Longest winning streak 17 wins from 25-05-2011 to 14-09-2011
Longest losing streak 5 losses from 17-03-2010 to 14-04-2010
GOALS
Goals scored ever: 613
Average goals per game: 5.42
Goals conceded ever: 444
Overall goal difference: 169
Greatest thrashing ever given: vs On Her Majesty's Cervix 04-05-2011 (won 13-0)
Greatest thrashing ever taken: vs QPR B Team 20-01-2010 (lost 11-0)
Most goals in single game: vs Becrypt FC Allstars 22-12-2010 (won 15-6)
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
The Table Never Lies
In football they say the table never lies:
Played 7, Won 7, Goal For 56, Goals Against 16 - An unbeaten goal fest of a season
Melee rounded off the championship season last night with an emphatic win over Inter Travaloto. In what some would describe as a non-event, testimonial or 'pointless' game Melee proved they were still up for it and put in a worthy champions performance with a 13-3 victory.
The team consisting of Josh ‘the cat’ Featherby in goal, Spike and Jack on their second games, old man Kev, young whipper snapper Dave and that silky lefty Chrissy P who filled in at the back for an absent nikky f. The team did what was required with a flurry of goals in the second half sealing the result. The game started very tight and was fairly even up to half time. Melee led 2-1 and it was expected to be a low scoring game. However this turned out not to be the case and as soon as Melee got a couple clear the floodgates opened and goals came freely as the opposition heads went down and their enthusiasm drained.
A lovely finish to the season saw all outfield players get on the scoresheet:
Spike 2, Jack 1, Kev 4, Dave 3 and Chris P 2
This adds up to 12 as no one can remember the other goal!
So the real test starts next week when the team moves up to the Prem. With team absences over the next few weeks it is going to be a real test to see if Melee can continue this 13 match winning streak. But for right now it is chance for Melee to be crowned double Champions.
Well done everyone in the squad for a unbelieveable season
Played 7, Won 7, Goal For 56, Goals Against 16 - An unbeaten goal fest of a season
Melee rounded off the championship season last night with an emphatic win over Inter Travaloto. In what some would describe as a non-event, testimonial or 'pointless' game Melee proved they were still up for it and put in a worthy champions performance with a 13-3 victory.
The team consisting of Josh ‘the cat’ Featherby in goal, Spike and Jack on their second games, old man Kev, young whipper snapper Dave and that silky lefty Chrissy P who filled in at the back for an absent nikky f. The team did what was required with a flurry of goals in the second half sealing the result. The game started very tight and was fairly even up to half time. Melee led 2-1 and it was expected to be a low scoring game. However this turned out not to be the case and as soon as Melee got a couple clear the floodgates opened and goals came freely as the opposition heads went down and their enthusiasm drained.
A lovely finish to the season saw all outfield players get on the scoresheet:
Spike 2, Jack 1, Kev 4, Dave 3 and Chris P 2
This adds up to 12 as no one can remember the other goal!
So the real test starts next week when the team moves up to the Prem. With team absences over the next few weeks it is going to be a real test to see if Melee can continue this 13 match winning streak. But for right now it is chance for Melee to be crowned double Champions.
Well done everyone in the squad for a unbelieveable season
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Glory Days are Back.............
Wednesday the fourteenth of September two thousand and eleven was a glorious late summers evening. The majority of the footballing world was focused on the return of the champions league, however few could have failed to notice the statement of intent melee sent out to their rivals and indeed the world.
This weeks game saw Melee tackle their closed rival in the league in the form of On Her Majesty’s Cervix. A win for melee would secure the title with a game to go, and loss would take the league to its final week.
The match started in Melee's usual style, as they arrogantly knocked the ball about, sizing up their opponents. Melee’s early pressing effectively killed their opponents attacking endeavors. Sensing blood, melee pounced, sweeping the ball from one side of the pitch to the other, resulting in a neat one-two on the edge of the box releasing Kev through for a neat finish passed the keeper.
Alex Ferguson would later say that evening “It was a fantastic finish by the young lad”, huge praise indeed for the Melee talisman.
From this moment on the flood gates opened, and melee made it 4.0 by half time, with Kev completing his hat trick and Dave powering home from close range.
After this the heavens opened, it stated raining goals!! Not to be out down by this striking partner Dave hit a brace of goals with one a particularly stunning move involving an inspired one-two with Chris P.
Roberto Mancini would later say “Those two have a great understanding of each other and the game”.
Melee were all over their opponents like a fat kid eating cake and by this time were not only playing against the opponents, they were also playing against the referee. This led to the melee boys pushing on for more, unfortunately, they were caught! (Caught by a throw in that the ref got wrong). A three on one brake was too much even for the heroics of Fabio. Although this did little for the score, (10-1 at this stage). it did bring an end to the longest period without conceding a goal in melee 5-aside history of 58 minutes.
The game ended 12-2 with every outfield player finding their way onto the scoresheet. The result secured back-to-back promotions and Melee now find themselves in the (London Westminster) Premier League.
The win also extends Melee’s winning run to 12 games which spans back to the 29th of June. Pitch-invasion has now labeled Melee’s form with a Treat level of 10/10 which is the highest praise the website will give.
The win has also prompted the melee fan base to swell as a promise of a fan to cheer on the team when they lift the title next week. Melee hasn’t seen this type of fan base since the North London Powerleague tournament last May, in which 3 Fans made the journey. Our treasured fans though know how to keep their teams feet on the ground as on that occasion they let half way through to go shoe shopping. One fan was quoted as saying “the pitches smelled too much so we thought we’d nip to the shops”.
In melee we trust.
Goal Scorers 14.09.11
Kev 5
Dave 5
Chris P 1
Nick 1
Records:
Personal
Longest period without conceding a goal in 5-aside – Fabio – 58 mins
Most balls kicked over the fence in one game – Small guy for OHMC – 3 times
Team
Longest winning streak – 12 games
Thursday, September 08, 2011
One touch little triangles
The fifth game of the Championship season was critical as Melee took on joint second in the league in what can only be described as a 6 pointer. The opposition this week The Punishers were promoted along with Melee last season and again were despatched for the second consecutive season after previously losing 6-1 and 9-0 last night.
In what is pretty unheard of in this league Melee managed to keep a clean sheet with Fabio picking a rare bonus (he didn’t have too much to do through out the 36 minutes apart from a few smart saves and some great distribution). In a fairly tight start the game stayed 0-0 for a long period of time but the signs started to appear as Melee hit the post twice and had shots saved by their keeper. It took a beautifully worked goal for Pils to finish off before an even more cheeky finish from a free kick with his left while Kev was standing over the ball. A hilarious own goal gifted Melee a 3-0 well deserved half time lead.
The second half was all about team play. One touch passing, little triangles, high pressing and a superior understand of the game tormented the opposition. A superbly worked goal from the kick-off saw all Melee members get involved and finished by another own goal. After that Jack began to run riot finishing off 4 goals all passing moves from which the rest of the team played their part including Pils completing his hat-trick. Any chance the opposition had was sniffed out by Foz at the back including some superb last ditch tackles. (We won't mention the two awful shots, one of which went on to the tracks and nearly hit a passing train!)
The game got a bit heated at the end but who could the blame the portuguese punishers, as they were completed outclassed, given a footballing education and left completed demoralised at the final whistle.
A win next week against the team now chasing in second will secure the title with a week to spare. You can just taste that victory beer around the corner.
Goals
Jack 4
Pils 3
O.g. 2
In what is pretty unheard of in this league Melee managed to keep a clean sheet with Fabio picking a rare bonus (he didn’t have too much to do through out the 36 minutes apart from a few smart saves and some great distribution). In a fairly tight start the game stayed 0-0 for a long period of time but the signs started to appear as Melee hit the post twice and had shots saved by their keeper. It took a beautifully worked goal for Pils to finish off before an even more cheeky finish from a free kick with his left while Kev was standing over the ball. A hilarious own goal gifted Melee a 3-0 well deserved half time lead.
The second half was all about team play. One touch passing, little triangles, high pressing and a superior understand of the game tormented the opposition. A superbly worked goal from the kick-off saw all Melee members get involved and finished by another own goal. After that Jack began to run riot finishing off 4 goals all passing moves from which the rest of the team played their part including Pils completing his hat-trick. Any chance the opposition had was sniffed out by Foz at the back including some superb last ditch tackles. (We won't mention the two awful shots, one of which went on to the tracks and nearly hit a passing train!)
The game got a bit heated at the end but who could the blame the portuguese punishers, as they were completed outclassed, given a footballing education and left completed demoralised at the final whistle.
A win next week against the team now chasing in second will secure the title with a week to spare. You can just taste that victory beer around the corner.
Goals
Jack 4
Pils 3
O.g. 2
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Unbeaten Run Continues
Melee extended their unbeatean run to 10 games to leave them firmly routed at the top of the Championship division:
Beating Red Square Belgrade 6-3 was one of the harder games over recent weeks. A great team effort was backed up with at times some beautiful triangular passing play. It could have easily been more but for some easy chances going astray. A rewarding, yet physical game that was played in good spirit by both teams. With only 3 games left in the league Melee look in a great spot to take back to back championships.
Goals
Dave 3
Chris O 1
Chris P 1
Kev 1
Fabio -3!
Beating Red Square Belgrade 6-3 was one of the harder games over recent weeks. A great team effort was backed up with at times some beautiful triangular passing play. It could have easily been more but for some easy chances going astray. A rewarding, yet physical game that was played in good spirit by both teams. With only 3 games left in the league Melee look in a great spot to take back to back championships.
Goals
Dave 3
Chris O 1
Chris P 1
Kev 1
Fabio -3!
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