Pete 'Montana' Goulding

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to catch up with one of Melee's all-time greats, Pete Goulding. If you are unaware of the legend that is Pete, he has been topscorer in every full season that he has played for melee, except one. Being one of the first players to be signed by the Harpenden-based club back in 2001, his 6 years of commitment thus far have been filled with goals and medals.

Hows life out in Montana?
Life is going pretty quick over here, tons of stuff to do to get ready for the school that im staffing. I have still managed to find time to play hours of Tiger Woods 07.

How much football are you playing?
Ive played one game of footie, its extremely annoying having to call it soccer. We played with these tiny goals (a bit like chair footie), there was a guy from Jamaica who had some talent and one from Germany but the rest were not amazing.

Do people know what football is over there?
They think you throw a pointy rugby ball at people and wear tons of padding

What are the women like?
Not a huge amount of talent, there are a few lookers but not really ones I would go after. there arent any students here yet though, they all start september 17th so there will probably be an extra 50 ladies on base.

What is your typical Saturday like?
All the days blend in to one at the moment. There is a new brewery about a mile away (which is like have one at the end of your drive in the UK), so ive been sampling their stuff, not that great, give me a 1664 or stella any day.

Where do you see yourself in 2 years time?
Two years time is a tough one, two main options: Either travelling to different bible schools across the globe doing teaching and stuff or being back in England making cash which I would need to do the first one. I might try and combine the two. It depends if Melee are still up and running.

When will you be back in a melee shirt?
Ill wear my shirt tomorrow. Ive been watching the results come in, class work boys, its making me slightly jealous but not quite enough to come back.

29th August Melee vs Welwyn Wanderers

It was a perfect night for football over in WGC. Melee took the field with an air of confidence, nay superiority, with a line up of the Couper brothers, Samuel, Ports and Jus , everyone was raring to go, the question today was not if they would score but how many.

Melee started steadily keeping a lot of possession - but without scoring, until man of the match Alex Couper took over and put a couple of sweet goals in the net. Two of the goals from just in front of the halfway line on the very right of the pitch - just drilling the ball across the goalie into the bottom left. WW got a couple of goals in the first half including a fortunate own goal from Porter and at half time Melee were cruising 6-2.

There were a number of changes at half time with a refereeing substition and Sam coming out of goal to see what damage he could produce. The second half was a shower of goals - with flowing passing up and down the field - WW did not know how to cope. David at the back was playing some sweet through balls which Sam and Alex dispatched with aplomb, Ports and David grabbing 4 and 5 goals with Melee walking most goals in as the WW fitness was telling.

Sam bagged 4 goals - all finished very well, but the real story of the night was the fact that everyone lost count of the goals Alex scored - from distance or close up he was burying the opposition. The referee said the final score was 16-5 but he had a shocker and lost count of goals, and a count up after the game by this reporter said that melee scored probably just over 20.

Man of the Match: Without a shadow of a doubt Alex Couper - getting 8 or 10 goals and bossing the game - in potentially his penultimate game of the season, showed true class and has led many to ask "what happened while he was in Iceland?"

Shocker of the Match: Justyns new no-swearing in football games is going great - he did not utter a swear word in the 30 minutes, however he did manage to nearly get into a fight in a match that would have been more violent against an armish team. This man could start a fight in solitary confignment....

Melee v Lazy Boys 15th August

Melee extended their current winning streak to 4 games last night with an encouraging victory over 4th placed Lazy Boys.

Melee were forced to make last minute changes to a team ravaged by unavailabilty.

Samuel, voted the Fudge Player of the Season last year, joined a long list of players who were unable to attend last nights fierce encounter in Welwyn Garden City.
Justyn, who was thought to still be out with an injury, was brought along to bolster up a squad still realing from the loss of Tafey who moved to Harpenden Town in the close season.

Due to Wilko's late arrival, Melee started with the unfamiliar lineup of Porter in goal. It is unclear to this reporter which team scored first, but it was soon 1-1. Some brilliant indiviudal skill from the younger Couper brother, set up his sibling for a pile driver into the top corner. Upon Wilko's replacement of Porter in goal, Andy set up two quickfire goals for Alex, followed by one for himself.

The half time score of 5-1 looked to leave melee well in control of the game. Kev and Drewin's sister/girlfriend/cousin/friend looked like they were enjoying the game, despite the wet conditions.

Lazy boys began the second half with 2 quick goals, and melee looked shaky. Some aggressive play by Justyn's opposite number (aka 'Rubbish') led to a squareing up between the two. The referee controlled the confrontation well, despite being huddled by a flock of lazy boys.

Another lazy boy goal went in, this time an own goal by singlehurst, and it was 5-3. From the kick off Porter took the slump into his own hands, dribbling past 2 before slotting the ball calmly into the bottom right hand corner.

Minutes later and he was back at it again, this time a curling beauty into the apex.

Daudi was controlling things from the back, and melee began to gain defensive composure for the first time since the break. However, one mix up between Drewin and Couper led to a 3 on 2 situation which lazy boys capitalised upon.

Justyn and 'Rubbish' were at it again, this time Rubbish landed an elbow onto Justyn's forehead. He was quickly subbed off before the referee had an opportunity to open his eyes to see what was going on.

After some hard work in the corner, the lazy boy keeper spilled a shot from Alex. From the resulting follow-up, the keeper grabbed both of Couper's legs forcing a penalty. The keeper claimed that Alex had gone in hard, but from where this reporter was watching, it seemed fair. After a few too many dummies, Couper hit the penalty straight at the keeper.

Lazy boys got another one back through a genius henry-style back heel from a free kick.

With seconds left on the clock, and both sides looking tired, melee won a free kick after Alex was kicked to the floor in the corner. The 'keeper then threw the ball at Couper, and while there was a gentlemen's handshake being offered by Couper to the keeper, Melee took a quick free-kick to seal a 10-7 victory and take them to the top of the table after 6 games.

They face a trip to second from bottom Real Ale Madrid next week with Samuel back but 2 more confirmed absentees in the form of the Couper brothers.

Man of the Match: Has to go to Andy Porter, for his 6 goals, many of which came at crucial points in the game.

Moment of the Match: The last goal, where justice was served by the keeper not having a hope of saving the free-kick, after he should have been sent off.

Melee vs Otodynamics - Wednesday 9th August

Melee have done the unexpected and already claimed top spot in the 5-a-side league with a convincing win over otodynamics.
The new look team consisting of Frenchy, The Couper brothers, Sam and an import from the Italian Conference were in confident mood and from the beginning of the match dominated possesion. The first goal went against the run of play, a tidy finish from one of the smaller otadynamic players - weighing in at a mere 15 stone.

This shock the team into a drastic response, and the Italian genius scored 2 blase goals to give Melee a lead that they would not give up again. with some solid defending and good play the half time score of 5-1 left otodynamics in total disarray. A certain swagger returned to the team with the arrival of Alex Couper - but it was a well deserved swagger as Alex put in a man of the match performance. After having a few early tussles with one of the opposition defenders, a talking to from the referee and a brief spell on the floor (after being pushed down), Alex performed as an untouchable - hassling players all over the park and he also scored a brace!
The second half was much the same as the first - with David and the Italian guy both scoring their hatricks in style. The Italian guy beat 2 players and calmly chipped a diving goalie. After two driven goals David completed his hatrick with a half volley under the goal keeper.
The team worked well - with Frenchy doing a lot of the engine work and being persistant in breaking up attacks and passing killer balls through the opposition.

Final Score: 9-3

Man of the Match: Alex Couper

moment of the match: There were actually 2, the first being the half time talk of the opposition that included comments like "How are we being beaten, we normally beat everyone in this league" and "We cannot get away from them - we have no time on the ball". Sometimes the best complements come from the opposition.
The second was Italian guys chip over the goalie - class.