Larry David - Genius

If your not a big curb your enthusiasm fan, you may not find this funny. But I don't really care.
Have a watch anyway
Larry David

Melee vs AFC Manish

Big game this week lads. Playing second in the league and a win is essential to keep up with the pace. New signing Jonny Scottish has been drawn in, and expectation surrounding him is high. Will Jonny Fudge be fit!????

Champions League Draw

Champions League draw for the group stages takes place this afternoon at 5pm. Check this out as a possible sticky group for Chelsea:

Barcelona
Chelsea
Sporting Lisbon
Galatasaray

If your interested, all the seeding information can be found here:
Seedings

2 new gems

Ricky Gervais has brought out two new episodes as the office's star David Brent, where he plays a mangement consultant. I have to confess, i haven't actually watched these yet (cos i'm at work), but i'm reliably informed that they are hilarious.

These guys know what i'm talking about:





Got 37 minutes free? watch it.

Part II (20 Mins) Part II (17 mins)

Sussex Cup - Last Sunday

Last Sunday Melee took the field in the Sussex Cup 5-a-side tournament , held in Brighton.

After nearly missing the first game, due to the fact we got lost it was apparent that things may start off with a poor result. Indeed they did, Melee losing 2-1, however slightly unlucky with the result. After a half hour break the second game of the group stage saw us come from 1-0 down to win 2-1, with goals from picnic and crouchinho. The turning point had began. Another hard worked 2-1 victory in the third game, goals from fudge and picnic saw us take up first place in the league. The fourth game saw Melee turn up and destroy their opponents 6-0 with some great passing moves. Superb goals, from fudge, jonny, crouchinho and picnic (3) left Melee still at the top with one league game to go. With a point required from the last game to top the group and automatic qualification already achieved, Melee failed to play the same footy they been previously in the tournament and lost 2-0. With other results not going their way, left Melee going through in second place.

With this fact a draw against a top half team saw us take on Jackson 6 in the second round. A hardworking performance saw us take the lead with an excellent individual goal from sam. Unfortunaetly we could only hold the lead for less than a minute. Half time saw the score 1-1. Second half Melee began to tire, with some superb saves from fickle keeping them in the game. However Jackson 6 hit us on the counter attack, broke through and slotted the ball home to take the lead with 3mins to go. Late chances saw picnic have shots saved, hit the post and had the keeping cheating by sliding in, however it was not to be and Melee had to go home after a 2-1 loss.

Great performances from everyone who played on Sunday. I was very proud of everyone and we gave it 100% effort. Thanks goes out to the famliy in the volkswagen for the smarties.

Surely not

The people who brought you stick cricket have released stick soccer.

http://www.sticksportssoccer.com/

Fit Kits

At least we looked good lads. As Take That once said 'things can only get better'.

Bath

Melee took a trip to bath. Well, I say melee, it was supposed to be, but then picnic jonny felt tired/wanted to play poker, fudge jonny had a 'sleep-over' at a friend's house (heard that one before), and jonny lost-at-poker was badly influenced by his jane and decided not to come.
Replacements were, Mexciano Al and Jane.

Canny trip still despite the drop-outs. Windsor, Bath and Oxford all visited and conquered.

Tax man

Possibly the best letter ever to come out of the Inland Revenue....Taken from the Guardian, an actual letter sent by the Inland Revenue:

Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order.

Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.

Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised. In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.

Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores" whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system."

A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:
1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system;
2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable.

I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please send it to us by Friday.

Yours sincerely,
H J Lee
Customer Relations

Collina eat yer 'art out

If we get this ref, I would absolutely love it

video

A New Season Is Upon Us

Right lads, its one week to go til the new Melee season begins. We are now playing on Weds nights in Welwyn (Gosling Sports Centre). We have been placed in the Premiership division so far, but I may try and get us relegated before next week!

The new website for Pitch Invasion Leagues is here. You can also check out information bout the Brighton Cup competition that we are playing in on the 13th August.

I have a registration sheet for all players, so if you wanna register i need your DOB and address. Obviously thats only really needed for jonny abroad/green as they wont be around to play next week.

Kit also needs to be purchased for the new season ahead. Im thinking a trip into Luton on Saturday for a new kit should be on the cards.

The squad (in no particular order): Jonny, Jonny Jonny, Crouchinho, Playboy, Abroad, Green, Fudge, Picnic, Jimmy, Samba, Married - any others are as always welcome to join the squad.

If we get 6 to play each week it costs a fiver each. Bring on the new season!!!