Match report 20th June 2007

Welwyn Pressive vs Melee

Melee were looking forwards to this ealy game after almost drowning in their own tiredness in the previous week. A late minute draft saw Edward Wilkinson replacing Kevin Webb in goal and the still injured Webb looking at a role at the front. Fans were scared, and cries of "What the **** is he doing outfield" could be heard from the stands. However, the early start meant the Wilko was nowhere to be seen and Webb took up his usuall role as keeper.
The match started off five on five and looked fairly even. Pressive took the early initiative with a good move a quick shot that everyone watched bounce firmly off the post.
5 minutes had been played before both teams brought on their sixth man. Webb looked extatic as he took of the goalie gloves and wandered up the pitch. Play soon quickened up and Melee found a lot of space, Goulding playing a "holding" midfield role waltzed up the pitch and had a snap shot with his left which managed to find the net, one nil. Pressive heads went down as Melee threaded passes throughout the midfield. Samuel Amorim, playing a free role, linked well with Webb in a move that ended with Webb curling one past the keeper and brushing the cross bar. Soon after this Webb finished calmly to put Melee two goals up, he quickly rushed over to the stands and was heard to say "That's what the **** I'm doing outfield".
Things didnt die down in the second half Welwyn's key man drifted past Goulding who managed only to take the players shoe off. With his right foot's new found freedom the forward took a pot shot which looped and dipped into the Melee goal. Melee's answer saw 'rock' Justyn Singlehurst play a beautiful ball through four players to the advancing Goulding who took it round the keeper for his second. At this point Pressive hearts collapsed and Melee engaged the cruise control. A great passing display opened up a lot of space for Melee and saw Tafe free on the left to have a few shots. A well worked move gave Samuel an open goal, which somehow got saved, many threats were directed at the Brasilian by team mates, which fired the forward to launch an incredible curling shot into the top corner of the goal. Another goal from Samuel and one more from Goulding secured a 6-1 win.
Man of the match: Justyn Singlehurst put in a solid display digging Melee out of some tricky spots and generally marking like a high rate school teacher.
Miss of the match: Has to go to Samuel, thankfully he makes up for it by being ridiculously good looking.

Team line Ups:
Melee
Wilkinson, Singlehurst, Tafe, Goulding, Samuel, Webb
Goals: Goulding 3, Samuel 2, Webb
Welwyn Pressive
Keep, Some guy, Other guy, Ginga, Yellow shirt guy, Token black guy
Goals: Ginga


Speculation

• Kevin Webb's grin after the game suggests that he may not want to ever play in goal again. In a later interview he stated "I have a new found respect for keepers."
• Perhaps prematurly looking at the Premiership trophy, arguments have arisen in the Melee camp about where the trophy will be kept. Last years trophy is being monitored by £125,000 worth of Singlehurst security equipment. The player is said to have gotten paranoid when a team mate looked at the trophy for too long. The new trophy may be given to the golden boot winner.
• David Couper's loan deal to Lolliondo Cubs is set to end this week.
• Andrew Porter is recovering from an ear ache given to him by frustrated parents but should make it back for the next match against second place Harlow FC.
• It has been leaked that Samuel Amorim will be given a controversial drug treatment to stop his legs shaking when he gets infront of goal.
• Melee are putting in a £1,250,000 bid for Wigan keeper Chris Kirkland who is restless after speculation that his club are to sign Carlo Nash. Webb has put his full backing behind this offer.
• The big question for now is 'Will Porter and Couper find their places when they return to the team?' A survey of 100 fans showed that 53% thought that neither would start in their next match, 35% thought that one of the pair would start and 12% did not know who Porter and Couper were. One fan said "I thought that they were the team mascots"

Golden boot award
Goulding 7
Samuel 5
Porter 3
Tafe 2
Webb 1
Singlehurst 0
Couper 0