Match report 27th June 2007

Melee vs Harlow FC

Another first place vs second place battle saw Melee playing rivals Harlow FC, who had followed them up from the Championship the previous year.
With another early start due to European television rights Melee struggled to field a team and almost had to forfeit the game. Fans breathed a sigh of relief as half the squad turned up just in time to kick off.
Melee looked tense at the start of the game and were not flowing as they have in previous matches. Keeper Kevin Webb was tested with a few negligible shots before Melee found the net. Foreign import Samuel Amorim received the ball on the right side of the box and calmly brushed a left footed shot past Harlow keeper, off the post and into the net. One nil.
The second half saw subs disrupting Melee’s fluidity slightly and Webb was given some harder challenges to deal with. A Harlow striker found himself in plenty of space, directly in front of goal, twice in the space of five minutes. However, the mind games of Webb forced the nervous attacker to place the ball into the arms of the Melee goalie. Harlow drew a freekick out of Melee, which was taken quickly and surprised all, apart from a Harlow forward who slotted the ball into the corner of the goal. At the other end of the pitch Samuel and Goulding were starting to link well. Samuel found himself on the touchline and managed to drive a cross into the box where Goulding headed past the Harlow keeper. The pair connected again for the third goal as Goulding played a ball across the face of goal for a Samuel tap in. Fans looked both shocked and delighted that the Brazilian had finished from three yards out. Harlow did not look too shaken by the three one defeat apart from one player who had taken hits to the face and the nuts during the game. It was speculated after the match that the red stripes of blood running down his shirt were a deliberate sign to the Harlow manager that the player wanted to move to Melee.
Man of the Match: Kevin Webb, for some great saves and a superb volley towards the end of the match

Team line Ups:
Melee
Webb, Singlehurst, Tafe, Porter, Couper, Goulding, Samuel
Goals: Samuel 2, Goulding 1
Harlow FC
Keeper, Little skinny guy, Little skinny guy clone, Fat Bloodie guy, Two randoms
Goals: Fat Bloodie guy

Speculation

• Pharmaceutical company Sigma-Aldridge announced their delight in the success of the drug treatment that allowed Samuel to net a tap in. A spokesman for the company stated “Previous trials on Kieran Richardson and Jermaine Jenas were not successful so we are very happy that this new solution has worked so well”
• Melee are already talking about fielding a reserve team for the last match of the season against School Girls Rock FC. A win for The Girls could save them relegation.
• David Couper has been linked with a €12.3 million move to Barcelona. The player stated “I’m Melee through and through, I couldn’t leave the club even if I wanted to.”
• Melee players will don a black arm band in their game against The Hurracaines in remembrance of Arthur Francis. The avid fan had a heart attack due to the surprise of his favourite player, Peter Goulding, scoring a header.
• Justin Singlehurst is rumoured to have been invited to be a part of next year’s ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here.’

Golden boot award
Goulding 8
Samuel 7
Porter 3
Tafe 2
Webb 1
Singlehurst 0
Couper 0